Process of Elimination

I witnessed the following from a bedroom window in early December.

Preparing the ground just so takes time an experience. It is truly an art form.

Preparing the ground.

Crouching tiger, taking a poo.

Crouching tiger, taking a poo.

Burying the evidence.

Burying the evidence.

Walking away. Slowly.

Christmas All Packed Up

A Christmas Story

Some years I am in the mood to decorate for Christmas, and other years I am not. This year, maybe because it was my first married Christmas, or my first Utah Christmas, or my first Christmas in a HOUSE that is not my parents’ or grandparents’, I was definitely in the mood to decorate. This wasn’t too hard, as I already have quite a few Christmasy things, and I knew exactly where they were stored.

The first and most important items to go up were the trees. Between the two of us, Marcus and I have four Christmas trees. I was ready and eager to put up all four, but Marcus talked me down to three. In the upstairs (main floor) living room, we put this fairly inexpensive one that I used in my classroom last year.

A nice, clear pic, but I prefer the way it looks without the flash. Cozy and ambient. See:

The second tree is in the same room as the first tree, which probably seems excessive, but… Well, you’re right! It is! But it’s small, and actually looks really good on top of the gas fireplace, which doesn’t have a mantel.

But my favorite decorations (and the only ones besides the trees that I bothered to photograph) are these two very special items which I acquired in 2002 and 2007 respectively.

and

If your favorite Christmas movie is the same as mine, I don’t have to explain these decorations. (And since I don’t feel like explaining them, I am going to assume that everyone’s favorite Christmas movie is the same as mine 😉 )

I like that second pic of the lamp because you can see the Christmas tree in the background (… okay, and the CNN logo, too, which I admit diminishes the Christmasy feel).

As for that third tree I mentioned, well Christmas morning, while it was still slightly dark, I sneaked downstairs to photograph the third tree, with all the beautiful presents underneath it. It was my last chance.

Now, I have quite a few ornaments that I received as gifts from students over the years, but they still were not enough to deck out two full-sized trees. So I had to do a little shopping. I put all the student ornaments, which tended to be on the folksy or craftsy side, on the upstairs tree (first pic), and decided on a more sophisticated look for the downstairs tree (since it is larger, fuller, and all around nicer). I found just the sort of sophisticated ornaments I was looking for, sold in (ahem) bulk at (ahem) Wal(ahem)Mart. Forty-six ornaments for $15. Just three colors were represented: a deep red, gold, and black. And they were sparkly and metallic. Beautiful. The best part, though, is that the box they came in promised that the ornaments were “shatter-proof.” Later, as I sat at home recalling with satisfaction my wise and lucky purchase, it hit me, stupidly, that “shatter-proof” is a euphemism for “plastic.” (Duh.) For a quick moment I thought about returning them, but then decided that as good as I am, I am not too good for plastic sophistication. In fact, plastic sophistication is probably about as sophisticated as I get! So I hung those ornaments with pride.

Gift-wrapping is another matter, however. I rarely compromise when wrapping a gift. I really only have two things on my gift-wrapping checklist: 1. seamlessness (no tape showing) and 2. a ribbon or bow that matches or complements the wrapping.

Snowflake wrapping paper coordinated with snowflake ribbon and a snowflake gift tag. Sounds too matchy-matchy, maybe, but you can’t argue with the finished product! Of course, my gift-wrapping goals aren’t hard to accomplish when I’m wrapping a rectangle. If I am wrapping something oddly shaped, I really only have one goal: cover every part of the gift with some kind of paper, somehow. Tape showing? Sure. Matching bow? Whatever.

Anyway, after taking a picture of the tree, I peeked out the front door to see if the snowstorm that was predicted to arrive in the early morning hours and continue throughout the day, had come. It had. Here’s the view from our front door.

Nice, huh? I don’t remember the last time I saw snow on Christmas Day.

Or the last time I had Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. Mmmm.

After a healthy breakfast, it was time for presents! I think we all (Marcus, his mother Merlyn, and I) enjoyed opening our gifts, and I think we all had a couple of surprises. The biggest surprise for me was this:

Marcus got me a mini-laptop (“Idea Pad”), which he had already set up, complete with a wedding photo as the desktop background. He apparently got the idea a few weeks back when Amazon was featuring a game where certain products were offered at deep discounts, but you had to be “invited” to purchase them at that special price. One of the deals (which no one in our family was invited to purchase) was on a mini-laptop. I had mentioned to Marcus that the laptop was one of the items I would have purchased, for myself, had I been invited to do so. I didn’t intend it as a hint, so this was a very pleasant surprise! I expect to use it a lot, especially since it is so convenient; it’s small enough to fit in my purse, and it’s very lightweight (as my family can attest, I carry around a tub of moisturizer that weighs more than this laptop does!).

I got lots of nice things from everybody else, too: several of my Amazon wishlist items from Marcus’ Mom, plus some pj’s and bath stuff, kitchen stuff from Marcus’ sister, some DVDs and a pedometer from Sam (also wishlist items), restaurant gift cards from Chris, earrings from Clark, and $1,000,000 cash from Mom and Dad. All in all, a great Christmas!

But the only thing besides the laptop I decided to photograph was this little gift from Marcus. He was at the post office, saw this item, and for some reason, thought of me.

It’s a magnet. The best magnet in the whole world.

And while we were opening gifts, our driveway and front porch were getting buried under more and more snow.

Then, with the presents all opened, and the snow showing no signs of letting up, it was time for a Christmas snack.

Sugar cookies and vintage-style bottles of Coke. Truly, this is Christmas.

And while I am on the subject of my slice-and-bake prowess, I made the stencil for the design on that cookie. It’s supposed to be the image of a gift. It wasn’t too difficult — a pencil, an index card, and an exacto knife — but a delicate and precise bow proved beyond my talents. So I settled instead for a non-detailed poufy thing that loosely resembles a bow… Of course, it also loosely resembles fire.

I also attempted a stencil of a candle with a flame, something I pulled off successfully a few years back, but I couldn’t manage it this year. The image looked all right while the cookie was still raw, but once it was baked, the candles looked like little “i”s. So I decided to eat, rather than photograph, the results 🙂

While we snacked, the snow continued to fall.

The snow brought an unexpected benefit. I had been meaning to swap out my Autumn wreath with a Christmas wreath (which I don’t yet own), but with the bits of snow clinging here and there, I think the Autumn wreath passes. At least this year.

The early afternoon view out our back door:

Marcus’ shoes on the back step:

And just a short while later, I took this picture from our front door. It looks like I am trying to get a close-up of the neighbor’s house across the street. Ignore the house. It’s a close-up of those big snowflakes I was after!

Outside, it was cold and white. But inside, it was time for Christmas dinner! I again made the sweet potato thing that Sam made at Thanksgiving ’07. I poured a tad too much butter over the topping, so part of it got a little too brown under the broiler, but it still tasted great.

Three dishes prepared, and we were ready to eat (off of Christmas dishes I bought at 50% off at World Market on Christmas Eve last year and that I’ve been waiting to use all year)!

On the left there you see a plate of Honeybaked ham (good stuff) and on the right in the blue pan is a potato dish that Marcus’ mom made. It has cheese, sour cream, onion, and cream of chicken soup. Around here they call them “funeral potatoes”. Apparently it’s a standard Utah Mormon dish. If you’re wondering whether it’s tasty or not, just let me remind you of the primary ingredients: cheese and sour cream (and technically, potatoes). ‘Nuf said.

While we were eating, the snow outside was getting CRAZY!!

Holy cow. Those flakes. are. HUGE.

Or is that Marcus with the snowblower?

Marcus was proud of his work.

But snow shouldn’t be all work. With the snowblowing done, it was time to play. Marcus was sure that if he did a bellyflop from the sidewalk onto the yard, he would sink right down, creating a 12-inch-deep mold of his body in the snow.

He didn’t.

But the snow was pretty deep. It was just a little too hard in the middle there to sink into without effort. So Marcus managed to leave giant footprints, if not a giant bodyprint.

As for me, I wasn’t willing to venture out that far. I was wearing shorts, which may have contributed to my reluctance. My footprints begin and end here:

We were back inside when evening came, and it was time for another snack.

We then ended the night by watching a classic piece of traditional Christmas cinema, The Dark Knight, and then hitting the sack.

The End.

Snowed

About a month and a half ago I made my morning commute in a hazardous winter snow storm. By “hazardous” I mean that just making my way out of the neighborhood made me feel like I deserved a medal. To those of you living in California and Florida: Did you know that when there is new snow on the road, a driver should like, slow down before making a turn? Not just slow down, but actually almost stop? Well I know it. At least now I do. See, if you don’t almost stop before making even a simple right turn, you won’t actutally “turn” at all; you’ll… “rotate”… more or less in the right (if you’re lucky) direction. I discovered this fact when, while making a right turn, my van’s tires began to do things I didn’t think were possible… like carrying my van and me down the street in a perpindicular position. It was almost fun… in an “everyone has to die some time” sort of way.

The freeway was slightly better; I managed to move in a forward direction the entire time, but traffic was moving at 30 miles per hour and my normal, seventeen-minute commute was forty minutes long instead. When I reached the school parking lot I felt grateful, and vaguely disbelieving that school was even in session that day. The parking lot was full and students were all around, on time and unimpressed by the weather. When I commented to a few co-workers about my harrowing drive, the response tended to be the same: there was a dismissing wave of the hand and then a comment like, “This? This is nothing,” or “Just wait until December,” or “It’s snowing?”

Anyway, six and a half weeks later, and I finally know what they mean.

Friday was the last day before Winter Break, and when I made my way out to the parking lot I saw this:

…which still isn’t a big deal because the snow had just started half an hour before. Still, it was much heavier between the cars and I had to step in snow up to my ankles (heels on a normal person) to get in the van.

And the windshield was pretty heavy with snow, but my foresightful husband had already bought me a scraper/brush.

Soon I was on my way, and attempting to merge onto the freeway:

Unfortunately, the most exciting part of my journey home was not caught on camera, as I was concentrating more on survival than on documentation, but the pictures would have been fantastic. Just imagine me two miles from my exit when the snow and wind suddenly kick up and get all blizzardy, and I can see nothing but the two cars directly in front of me. Then imagine me driving into our neighborhood, passing stuck cars on a solid white road. I knew then why people at work had been so dismissive of last month’s snow. THIS was what a real Utah snow storm looked like.

Except it wasn’t! But TODAY. Today made Friday look like November! I didn’t know what I was in for at first, though. Having survived The Storm of the Century of November 5, and also The Storm of the Century December 19, I felt pretty nonchalant this morning about the delicate snow just barely sticking to our driveway. I had errands to run and food to buy, and my initial mild concern soon gave way to jaded arrogance. “This is child’s play compared to Friday,” I thought, so off I went.

And stuck I got. On a hill. Near Marcus’ work. The snow had become thick, heavy, and rapid, just in the few minutes since I had left home, and my little van just couldn’t get up a steep hill.

So I called Marcus, and maybe I cried. Just a little 😉 Since he was five minutes away, of course he said he would come to help me. I sat in the van, staring into my rearview mirror, waiting for the pair of headlights that would finally be Marcus’. For several minutes, I eyed, hopefully, every vehicle that approached me from behind, up the hill… and every time it turned out to be a monster pickup truck that zoomed around and past me, mocking my hope and my stuckness. One guy even rolled down his window and did a Nelson-style “Haa-haa!!” as he passed!

Okay, that last part didn’t happen, but I could tell the guy was thinking it. I could tell by the way he drove. His driving was all “haa-haa” like.

But Marcus soon arrived, and by then the snow plow had just recently passed. Marcus turned off the traction control on my van (never heard of traction control until today) and maneuvered it out of the rut it was in. The snow was continuing to get heavier, so when I took the wheel of the van again, I just followed Marcus to his boss’s house, which was very close, and parked the van on his street. Marcus then drove me home in his car (four-wheel drive + snow tires). A little after 3 PM the snow let up, the streets had all been plowed, and we went and got the van. I’m not sure how many inches fell today, but here is Marcus snow-blowing the driveway for the second time today:

And here is the sidewalk in front of our house:

It reminds me of the way I liked to eat Oreos when I was a kid. I would separate the cookie and then run my front teeth down the middle of the circle of cream, leaving a clear trail for me to admire.

Now I am safe and warm inside, with no plans for leaving the house until Spring.

Chicago

That’s right, you’re looking at real Chicago style pizza, albeit through the lens of a mediocre camera phone. I just got back yesterday from the CompTIA Linux+ Certification item writing workshop that began on Monday.  I was actually supposed to get back today, but I moved the flight up after hearing that we were ahead of schedule on our work and that Utah was expecting a snow storm this morning.  Unfortunately, this is all I have as far as photos.  I did see downtown and Lake Michigan on the flight in, but there wasn’t much time for sightseeing.

The workshop went pretty well.  It basically consisted of writing multiple choice questions independently for part of the day, and then splitting into two groups to review and approve the pool of questions written.  We didn’t exactly sit and make up questions, they had an outline of ‘objectives’ that covered all of the topics they wanted to test on.  I remember being invited to apply for the job task analysis they used to create the outline, but it was held the week of our wedding. I suppose I made the correct choice in not attending that one 😉

The main boss lady who visited the class a few times and took us out to eat said that the test refresh couldn’t have come at a better time. Apparently this certification is on the list for linux admins in the armed forces, and there is a big push for them all to be certified.

There were eight others who attended, so while I can only lay claim to about 1/9th of the questions, I saw, edited, and approved of about half of what will go on the test.  Of course all of that is top secret and I had to sign a contract because there is a whole industry around preparing people for these tests and people would pay pretty well for the objectives and test specifics.

In all, it was a good trip, and I’d be happy to do it again. I can’t say I’d want to do it for a living though. Writing questions gets boring after awhile.

IS Holiday Party… Ribs

We had our yearly Info Sys holiday party yesterday at work. I was one of six who volunteered to do the main course, ribs.  I spent a few days perfecting a sauce, and did a practice batch the weekend before Thanksgiving.  I took some photos to share from the prep work Wednesday night and cooking Thursday morning.  Six racks is a lot of food, and I had to get creative on cooking them all the same without a container large enough for them all. I know what you’re probably thinking, and no, the oven did not get as messy as it looks like it would.  The heating element in this oven is hidden underneath a flat metal sheet rather than being exposed on the bottom, so I just lined the whole bottom part with foil and used it as one big roasting pot. The rack was really the only thing to clean.

Anyway, I got some good compliments on them. One of the other cooks even said he thought they were the best. At the end, I had about eight bones left, which was quite a bit fewer than some of the others despite being second to last in the serving line. Even Shona said they were awesome 😉

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